Been a Long While

Avery and Willow on beach in Gearhart Oregon mid August 2014 - Look how big Avery is!

Wowza, how embarrassing! It's been almost a year and a half since I last posted anything here. There are a TON of drafts waiting to be finished, maybe I'll take the time to go back, add pictures or text, and post them. If for no other reason than to start completing more things.

On a less shameful note, some shameless self promotion! Hey, if you aren't here to read about me and mine, then what are you here for? I've been asked to be a guest writer on my friend's blog Stroked to Life. My first post is up and it actually has to do with regret. I do regret not keeping up with things here, but all I can do is start writing more.

Feel free to check out my post No Excuses, No Regrets. I promise you wont regret it... Okay I promise nothing, but still read it if you'd like.

Labor According to Andrew

Pictures from Andrew's Phone

So, I feel really guilty about this, but I haven't written anything down in a journal since Avery was born. I can't believe she's already 9 weeks old! I did find the account of my labor written by Andrew and had to share it:

Feb. 28, 2013:
8:00 pm Willow drinks castor oil
10:00-2:00 am Willow regrets drinking castor oil
10:00 (est.) Labor starts

Mar. 1, 2013:                        
2:45-3:00 In hospital to monitor
3:30-4:00 Cervix goes from 2.5 to 4
5:15  Epidural (dilated 7.5)
5:38-5:45 ATC goes to office to drop off hearing binder and eats some cookie dough from fridge
6:00 Nurse Karine leaves
6:20 Nurse Allie takes over
6:45 Willow water; ATC fig newton
6:48 Mom shows up; water broken by Dr. Young
7:35 Petocin
8:02 ATC given breakfast
9:45 Complete
                         

Andrew taking one of the photos in the collage above

Avery Jane

Avery and Willow

So, it's been 6 weeks and 4 days since our little girl was born. Life has been quiet and exhausting. I haven't been posting anything because a) I'm tired all the time and when I think about sitting down and typing it sounds ... well, tiring and b) What do I have to talk about? Do you want to know all the nitty-gritty details of our child's birth? Probably not (of course you can always ask, I don't mind over sharing if you are curious). Do you want to know about Avery's nursing and lack of sleep schedule? Her diapers? Probably a 'no' to those as well. I feel like so many of the mundane moments with Avery are precious, but not easily shared with others. How do you explain the gummy smiles, the open mouth kisses, the way she smells, and how her little body seems to fit perfectly on my chest - like she was meant for cuddling?

Okay, disclaimer: I am going to talk about Avery's birth.

The first time I got to go to the NICU and hold our child I cried. I looked at her and loved her. I know, almost every new parent has this experience, but this was the first time for me. When she was born she wasn't breathing. My first glimpse of our baby was as she was being handed over to the respiratory therapist. She was an off-color and motionless. She looked dead. As she disappeared into the throng of people that had congregated in our room during the delivery, I was steeling myself for the worst while hoping for the best. She started breathing on her own after a couple minutes of help, thank goodness. Of course this didn't stop Andrew from constantly questioning whether our daughter would have brain damage. Just what I did not want to think about. She was whisked away to be put on an IV and monitored. I was left with the nurses. While they were checking my vitals I jokingly said "Thank goodness I didn't bother writing a birth plan!" They laughed and then asked how I'd been so calm during all the craziness. I told them that it wouldn't help anyone if I was freaking out. In fact it probably would have drawn the attention away from our baby who needed it more than I did at that moment. It was hard for me to wait for my epidural to wear off. I wanted to see Avery (who was actually nameless at the time - her ID bands said "Baby Willow", don't ask me why). The labor and delivery hadn't gone as I'd expected. Wasn't I supposed to be bonding with my baby? In our birthing class we'd learned that the first hour is critical. I'd been expecting skin to skin contact and trying to nurse, not laying in a hospital room waiting to use my legs. Despite all this, our little girl is healthy and beautiful. The hospital staff kept telling us that she was one of the prettiest babies. Her long eyelashes and easy temperament helped, I'm sure. We love her. She is perfect.

The Name Game

I didn't realize that it was going to be so hard to pick a name for our child. Oh, the pressure! This little girl will be identified by our choice for the rest of her life. A few days ago I ran across a website that will help with name choices, for free, if you allow them to post your email on their site (a private consultation costs $50). So, what the heck, why not just send an email and see if they decide to use it? I decided to do just that. When I told Andrew he said, "Seriously, you're asking a stranger to name our child?" Of course it sounds silly when you put it that way, but I'm having a very hard time deciding which direction to go. Here is my (long winded) email to the baby name site:

Okay, my baby is due in a couple weeks. It's getting down to the wire and we are still having problems finding the right name for our little girl. We've come up with several, only to find that a few weeks later we don't like them as much as we thought. I don't want to have this happen when we finally name our child. I've always liked my name (Willow). It's becoming more popular now, but growing up it was unique. People often remembered my name and told me how much they liked it. I didn't get teased very much. My name was not too different, but just different enough. 

I would love for my daughter to enjoy a unique enough name that she doesn't have to be "Isabella C." or "That Other Sophia" in her class, but not a name that sounds like we were trying too hard to be creative. No weird made up sounding names or kre8tive spellings. I'd love to have a nature inspired name for her, but I feel like most of the nature names used sound like parents are trying to be too bohemian (Sunshine Meadow or Oshen Bleu).  

I'm okay with common or "plain" middle names in order to ground the first, more unique name (like my mother's first name Jane... however my sister-in-law just named her baby Jane, but that doesn't really matter for a middle name). Of course, we're not even sure if we'll give our daughter a middle name. In both of our families there is a tradition of not giving a middle name to the girls so the girl can then choose to take her maiden name as her legal middle name when/if she gets married. Strangely enough I decided to do just that and now my husband and I have the same middle and last name (his middle name is my maiden name and now my legal middle name). 

As far as our background, I'm from Oregon, my husband is from Michigan. I'm of English, Welsh, Irish, Finnish (actually my great grandpa came over to the US from a community of Swedes living in Finland), and some French descent. My husband is mostly of English descent. Don't know if any of that helps with name options... I'm even okay with some of our rejected names being paired with new names we haven't thought of. 

Some examples of names we've liked, but aren't sure about for different reasons (like popularity): Gwendolyn Brooke, Avery Gwendolyn, Charlotte Grace, Avery Elizabeth, Sydney Brooke, Liesel Sage, Marion Rowan, Sorrel Mae or Rowan June. 

Estimated arrival date: February 26th, 2013.
Sex of baby: Girl
Surname: Curtis
Semi-finalist names: Sydney (this is my husband's top pick, we both liked it when we fist got married 6 years ago, but I feel like it's gone through too many popular phases since then, or maybe it was popular then and we didn't know it), Avery (too trendy, but I babysat a little boy named Avery when I was a teenager - he's 19 now, yikes! - and always thought it would make a great girl name), Gwendolen or Gwendolyn (nickname Gwen - I like this one a lot more than my husband).
Names we've considered and rejected: Most of these were names that I suggested and got vetoed by my husband: Rowan (husband said it sounds like rowin' down a river), Piper, Pippa, Lily, Naomi, Vivian, Sage (possible middle name?), Sorrel, Madeleine (we both like it, but my sister just named her baby Madeline), Cora (doesn't sound good with surname), Solene (pronounced So-LEHN, so my husband thought it might require our little girl to correct people too often, plus he didn't like it), Charlotte (too popular), Olivia (nickname Liv or Olive - too popular), Amelie (most likely mispronounced), Wren (maybe a middle name?), June (might be annoying to be named after a month of the year, but maybe a middle name), Teagan or Tegan (husband thinks it sounds more like a boys name), Elsie (my niece is named Elspeth and goes by Elsie), Nora (possible middle name?), Liesel, Mia (too popular), Kenzie (clashes with surname), Emma, Linnea, Marin, Brita (family name, but made my husband think of water filters).
Names we'd use if the baby were a boy: Probably something more traditional like William,or James (my husband's pick, I'm on the fence about it). I really like Remington (Remi when he's little, but my husband is still coming around to it) or Ellis (my father-in-law's middle name, so it might be a middle name idea).
How many children we plan to have: Ideally 3-4, but since this is our first, we're taking it one at a time.  

Sorry about the short deadline, I just came across your site yesterday and couldn't stop thinking about asking for some guidance. I will definitely send you an update when we have our baby! 

Thank you in advance for your help, 

Willow 

P.S. I've gotten so desperate for ideas that I decided to create name clouds using a genealogy fan chart website for inspiration. Not only did I look at clouds using my husband's and my genealogical information, but I also used both his parents' and my parents'... that's six name clouds! I've attached mine and my husband's, but if you would like to see the other four, I will gladly send them to you.

I'm probably never going to hear back. I'm sure they get a ton of emails. And honestly, I don't think I have anything specific enough or different enough in my desires for names that would make my email stand out.

Maybe Andrew is right. I need to just pick a couple names and then see how they sound when she is born. Of course he's been trying to brainwash me for the past few months and will only refer to our child as Sydney. He talks to my belly and has whole conversations with "Sydney", all the while making sure to say her name often... not sure how much of what Andrew says I can trust when it comes to names.